Although I’m genuinely a happy and bubbly person, I used to blame everything and everyone whenever I encountered conflict. Then 2014 showed up and I decided I would be happy regardless of my situation.
I also stopped blaming myself when things weren’t perfect. Things and people can’t make you happy; it has to come from within. So I decided to stop being dramatic about negative outcomes. If a relationship didn’t work out, I would say things like “I hate men” or “I never want to be married or have kids”. But I’ve realised now that whatever will be, will be. You’ve got to keep living your life. When I think back to the energy I wasted whilst accommodating people who didn’t acknowledge my worth, I really wish I put that energy elsewhere.
I’m going to be real with you: it’s hard being happy. It’s hard being happy whilst you are jobless, friendless, savings-less and furniture-less ( I moved rooms again in my house). It can easily create turmoil and make you feel rubbish, but I decided to live as if everything was great, and focus on the haves – never the have nots.
When I’d see my account in minus, I’d cover up the sign and envision my savings account growing. You have to keep going.
There were times I would go into my furniture-less room and image everything was there. I would put my make-shift bed and make-up table in the places where I wanted the desired pieces to be. After a month or two of visualisation, these desires became reality.
I stopped asking ‘why’ because the better question was, ‘why not?’. I accepted it was what I deserved. I stopped thinking I needed someone to fill the space of no longer being in a relationship, but rather took the time to develop myself, what I wanted in life, and the steps I’ll take to get there.
They say it takes 28 days to create a habit and by March I experienced a complete 360. Who knew my life would evolve so much just by changing my thoughts – and that was just the beginning.
Here is a month by month run down of 2014:
Reconditioning my life and my perspective to rediscover who I am. By instilling positivity into my mind, there was no longer space for negativity.
Met the love of my life: someone who understands that I’m a dramatic-bubbly-crazy-spontaneous-make-up-loving-clothes-collecting adrenaline junkie.
There were decadent hotels and diners at many of my favourite restaurants. I discovered new things to love, made plans for my life, spent time reassessing my career and got to know and have fun with an interesting character. Neither of us was looking for a relationship, so we enjoyed each other’s company without the pressure of defining it.
Spain and sunshine: both of which I relished. Although I’m born in the autumn, I’ve always said I’m a sun baby because it makes me happy and there’s so much more to do when the sun is out. I also found myself in a relationship. I’d usually wait an absurd amount of time before making a commitment, but this time I decided to see where it would go (instead of doing some crazy five year plan with someone who doesn’t even know my surname).
June / July
Thailand: this was in the pipeline for a few months; I’ve always wanted to visit the country since my palette has become accustomed to mouth watering Thai food. Thailand was an eye opener to a calm and accepting culture. I met a man who said Thai women don’t get jealous. His partner allows his ex girlfriends to stay round when they visit Thailand. I was so wowed by that; you have to admire that level of security within yourself.
Back on the job market, and soon after, working my dream job. I create Digital and Internet adverts for a world-renowned tech brand, only a stone throw away from home.
Out with the old and in with the new – clothes that is! My forever-expanding wardrobe was ridiculous! I challenged myself to wear everything in my wardrobe or else give it away, and in turn, reduced my wardrobe by 35%. If that’s not proof that God exists, then I don’t know what is. I finally let go of the baby grow, because I was never going to fit in it. I travelled to my bf’s university city, which is a beaut. I still need to tell you about that.
My birthday month: mainly spent being spoilt rotten by my boyfriend! For someone who likes to keep it quiet, this by far was the best EVER.
November / December
Pretty much preparing for hibernation; it was extremely quiet for me. I went into hiding to reflect, and show gratitude to the universe. My loved ones became even closer, so I took the opportunity to continue to build those relationships.