I write this blog entry slightly concerned. I read an article in the The Independent newspaper claiming that 6 out of 10 black women aged 20 to 39 are without a partner compared to a white women with an average 4 out of 10. This is a shock to me!! Why is this?!!

In the article, a woman remarked that good black men died out with the dinosaurs. LOL. I found this statement very funny but then I wondered: is this the perception alot of women have today? 

Two novels which address this topic are ‘Single Black Female’ by Yvette Richards and ‘Baby Fathers’ by Patrick Augustus. Both tackle the question of why there are so many single black women in Britain. However, they reach different conclusions.

Ms Richards argues that black men are falling by the wayside, and that black women would rather stay single then attach themselves to a “slacker”.

Mr Augustus says most women don’t choose to be single: they are on their own because they haven’t sussed out what black men want.
Here’s a video with 10 tips for single women:


Bonus Tips:
* God knows what’s best for you, so do not force anything
* Looks alone don’t get you a man
* Invest time into relationships
* Develop the relationships you’ve got. If you struggle to maintain relationships with friends or family; this may determine your relationship with your potential partner.
* If the guy wants a sexual relationship and you’re not ready,  that’s your cue to exit. It won’t develop in to anything else so don’t stick around.


Hope you all enjoyed it
Bye for now




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  1. Anonymous
    10th March 2010 / 2:31 PM


  2. Anonymous
    10th March 2010 / 2:34 PM

    I love your post Wande I have been single for 4 years now, and my biological clock is ticking.
    I will take your top tips into considerations, hopefully I wont be single anymore.

    Keep hem coming girl, its really inspirational


  3. Anonymous
    10th March 2010 / 11:36 PM

    Loving the blog…Fabrice ‘tj’ Wonga

  4. Anonymous
    11th March 2010 / 12:46 AM

    Good Evening Ladies, THe ist mistake woman make is color…you should never eva make that mistake, If guys like me had a choice we would have asked that we all be the same because people really take it too hard, and go out of there way to make you feel like crap, Ladies in closing just keep it real like coka-cola….peace and good hunting

  5. Anonymous
    6th April 2010 / 2:15 PM

    I’m sorry, but most of these reasons sound like why you are still single….
    Bonus tip – that’s when you mention God? May I ask if you are a Christian Wande? If you are, why do you give the impression that you are reluctant to turn to the scriptures and the sovereignty of God for advice?

    I appreciate that you are trying to give “practical” advice but these tips are more likely to keep women single than help them. For instance, you say that a woman should not compromise her career for a man. First of all, the advice is in the wrong context and seems better suited for someone already in a relationship (as a man is more likely to love a woman who compromises because of love). Second of all, the advice does not seem to weigh up to what scripture has to say about love. Not to mention you gave a superficial example (a woman that cannot compromise for the gym, is looking to stay single).

    So with all due respect, understanding that you are seeking to give practical advice, if you happen to be a Christian, there is no better, more practical advice than that given in the light of scripture.

  6. Anonymous
    6th April 2010 / 2:34 PM

    I think the first wrong assumption made here is that black women have to be with black men. If it’s a preference then fine, but skin colour should never be a restriction. Also, if you are a Christian, then your quest for a mate should always be guided by the Scriptures. I think it’s quite sad that you bring God in as an afterthought when really He should be your guide in these things.

    In light of that, we ought not to be looking for relationships for the sake of it, but marriage as God designed it to be should be the ultimate goal. So what are you doing to prepare yourself for marriage? Are you learning what it is to be a godly woman, learning what it means to love your husband and care for your children and keep your home (Titus 2:3-5). Godly men are attracted to women who are about doing the Lord’s work and not sitting around day dreaming about prince charming.

    Relationships are about making sacrifices and making compromises for the other person and putting their preferences before your own. Too many times relationships fail because we are so concerned about our own needs being met (selfishness) and this inevitably ends up in disappointment. If you are both concerned about meeting each others needs then your relationship will thrive.

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